Old Acquaintance be forgot

Happy 2009. May it not suck for you and yours.

Buck Up! It's Christmas Time!

I promised myself I'd be more positive about the whole Christmas thing. I've been a Grinch lately and thought I'd better get some heart before it's too late!

So I'm trying to look at things in a different way. Instead of whining about gift giving, I'm going to shut up and be grateful. Instead of thinking about being miserable on Christmas, I'm going to make the most of my day off. Instead of worrying about people not getting their gifts in time, I'll just let it go.

Just let it go.

What a concept.

Don't give me anything expensive

Christmas is approaching and I keep getting the same ol' question: What do you want for Christmas. At first I say, "I don't know" or "I really don't want anything." But later I think of all this stuff I should've said that I really could use. But Christmas is such a racket. It's become the holiday of obligation. I love giving people things, but mostly because I like putting thought into it. I try to think if that person would really like this or that thing. Instead, though, we wind up giving out certificates some of the time because 1. The person we're buying for is a relative, but one we don't know, and are forced to buy something for because of "family grab bag." 2. It's cheaper to mail 3. We don't know what to buy them. In my opinion if you don't know what to buy someone, don't buy anything. Why should you be forced?

This Saturday I had all of our boxes sealed up and ready to mail. The gifts were wrapped, labeled, and waiting for me to brave the cold weather to get to the post office and UPS. Then the phone rings. It's Sport-o's mom. Guess what. The names we were told we had for the family grab bag were WRONG. We have Aunt Sharon and Heather, not Steve and Erik Z. WTF!!!! We bought these digital ornaments and movies for these guys, had them wrapped, and I was about to send them! Again, WTF! Now- I know how this whole thing could have been avoided:

DON'T DRAW THE NAMES ONE YEAR IN ADVANCE! It's the most retarded thing ever! Why would you draw the name for the next Christmas on Christmas Day? What if something happens?! How do you remember it? It's just silly.

After Sport-o pretty much raised his voice at his mother for the stupidity behind the whole thing (I can't say he yelled- he just got really upset- you never should yell at your mother.) I grabbed the scissors and ripped open the boxes. What could we do?! There was no time- if we didn't send them today they'd never make it before Christmas. So we put a new gift tag on the presents meant for Steve and Erik Z. So now Aunt Sharon, who probably doesn't know a thing about computers, is going to get a digital ornament, not to mention a copy of 40 Year Old Virgin, And Heather, whom we think doesn't even own a computer or a digital camera is getting one too, along with a copy of Knocked- Up. Go figure.

So we told Sport-o's mom we don't want to do grab bag anymore. It's just gotten too ridiculous. Last year another cousin, Mike, had me and didn't even have the decency to mail it. Instead he gave the gift to Sport-os mom to mail here. Can you say cheap? Can you say lazy? And you know what the gift was? Lotion and slippy socks. Is that really worth mailing?

I know I sound very bitter right now, but like I said I like putting thought into gift giving but lately it is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO not worth it. Not when other people can give a rat's booty and give you junk. It would've been better if I didn't get anything.

So I told my mom about this whole fiasco, dropping a big hint about my unwanted participation in my side of the family Grab bag. All she said was that she understood how things would be hard and that the fun is gone when things happen like that. She went into this big explanation about how the person who has me doesn't see my face when I open the gift and vice versa. The fun of it is gone. Yes. Bingo. But, we're still stuck in it.

Now that I've had a few days to think about this grab bag problem and have gained some distance from it, I still have the same conclusion:

I have really come to hate it. So what do I want for Christmas? No more obligations to buy gifts. I want to enjoy Christmas for what it is.

Surrender

There's a Cheap Trick song called Surrender that has the lyric

"Surrender but don't give yourself away."

So deep, man. So deep.


Yesterday I found myself in a very strange situation. A rather demeaning one too. I was in a meeting at work with my boss when this dude- who I have no idea who he is but obviously some big shot- barges in and kicks me out of it to talk to my boss. Bastard. I found out later that all he wanted to do is talk crap to my boss about another co-worker of ours and he just didn't want me to hear it. At first when he said for me to leave I thought it was a joke. Nope. So I left everything there I brought and walked back to my office with my tail between my legs and not knowing why I was being punished. It was so rude. I just sat in my chair for a few seconds trying to figure out what just happened. As it set in the angrier I got. If I was more witty I should've came up with something good to say. Or at least said screw you, I don't care who you are. But I didn't. Never do. What if I did though? The next time someone treats me like shit I call them on it.... what would happen?

But I could never "surrender" myself to do that. I have too much integrity (for lack of a better word) in me to treat someone like that. I'd feel bad instead of relieved.

Wouldn't "surrendering" and letting myself be the bitch I want to be "give myself away"? So how do you give up but don't give a piece of yourself? Do You let them win? --Say "go ahead, treat me like crap." Or are you losing because you surrendered to those impulses? ---Say "you jerk, you could be nice, I'd be happy to leave if you ask properly." Or do you win because you didn't win or lose? (Insert punished puppy whine here) But you didn't create more problems. I'm going in circles.

Cheap Trick philosophy is way beyond their time.

As Wayne and Garth would say: "We're not worthy! We're not worthy!"


Party on

Change of Tune

Man, I just read my last blog entry. Depressing.

So I promise to have a better outlook in this entry. Though there are some things going on that aren't so great I'll try not to dwell on them. Matter of fact I won't dwell on them at all.

Happy Thanksgiving. I'm making dinner this year for 6 people. That's a big deal to me, though people may not think so. This is one of the first times I'm coming out from under my mother's so called "wing" and flying on my own. Wish me luck.

I think I collect strays. On Grey's Anatomy last week there was a reference to the Merideth character taking in "strays" aka her friends. It dawned on me...I'm like that. Sport-o is like that too. We're both in a way, strays, and collected each other. I've been thinking back to when I was a kid and who I was friends with and who I befriended (be it human or beast). I've always been attracted to that person or that group. Not that there was anything wrong with them, because they were in the same category as me. (Hee. hee.) I was never in the "in crowd" and always had a small amount of friends. I'm still like that. I am really close with my small circle of friends. I don't think that's a bad thing, but sometimes it can be hindering.
I think I'll go home and watch Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. I'll be sure to chime in on the "We're a couple of misfits" song. :)

Frustration

Frustration

snapping at people for not letting me finish a sentence
almost throwing guitar hero guitar in front of friends
can't play nice CAN'T!
get wierd looks from people. "What's wrong with HER?"
turning beat red when anger throbs through veins. Runs
unable to control anymore
too tired
too tired of holding it in
chocolate candy corn is gross
job may be in jeapardy, again
husband is easy target of anger but unfair
whispers in hallways
what's going on
trying to ignore rumor mill but can't help it
paranoia sets in
holding it in
sick to stomach
got nails done- too long to function properly
can't be pretty- to hard to maintain
Hair just got done but "dead ends" pointed out that didn't exist
swallowed and held it in
no money
cat who doesn't shut up
worried about patient in hospital
nothing you can do
get on the plane get back to work
to hear bull shit
Holding it in all the time
All the time
probably aging because of holding it in all the time
all the time
grumble grumble STFU

Happy Halloween

What did the bun say to the empty hot dog?

Happy Hollow-weenie!


Anyone ever watch Perfect Strangers?

Instead of saying the relaxing mantra "I am a hollow reed. Problems run through me like the wind. Balki said "I am a halloween..."

Burnt shoes and cell calls and lumbar 'ectomies

I'm burnt out. I don't want to talk to anyone on the phone anymore. I'm tired. I don't want to fake enthusiasm. I need a break. Is that so bad? Yes. It is. Because I can't. I have people calling and when I don't enthusiastically say how wonderful my life is they think I'm sick and should go in the hospital. I'm not kidding. Or if I don't call for a while others think I'm mad at them. Guess what- the phone works two ways. And maybe I feel bad that I wasn't there for your 21st birthday, or bachelorette, or shower, or baby's birth. Ever think of that? Maybe I don't want to talk about it because the next time I hear, "You should have been there" or "We wish you were here" I will scream?! It was my choice to move away and have my own life. And I like the choice I made. Don't rub it in my face.

But aside from all that I'm going back to my mid-atlantic home for a visit in a few weeks. I'm going to be in my friend/ cousin-in-law's wedding (yes I know cousin- in -law isn't a real relation). I get to wear a conjac - burnt- poopy -orange dress that I think looks bad on me. Sort of suitable to match my mental capacity lately though: burnt and poopy.

I was told by said bride to go buy dyed shoes to match the dress. Well I went to the bridal store and there was no way I was going to spend THAT MUCH on shoes I'll wear once and be in total pain in. So I didn't buy them. And I lied to the bride and said I did. That makes me a bad bridesmaid, but she should be glad I'm flying 2000 miles to be there! So I'm going to hide my shoes- the dress is long anyway. I got cream pumps that are awesome to wear instead- and they were 10 bucks. Besides the guests should be looking at the bride, not my shoes, right? So if she notices I'll fess up or else say I forgot them or something, but I think the bride will have other things to worry about. The funny thing is that she was in my wedding and I never told anyone to get matched dyed shoes. No one remembers that, though.

SO this trip is going to be a doosey. Not only am I going to do the wedding stuff, it's also the same week as my Gram's 85th birthday and my family is throwing a party for her. And then, two days later, my mother is going to have major back surgery. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I'll be there for when she's in the surgery, but it's all feeling overwhelming. I'm only there a week- even less if you factor in 2 travel days.

Did I mention I needed a break? Too bad I'm using up all my vacation days for this trip. I'll need a vacation from my vacation. And from work too.

Dear Blog,
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for listening. You're a good friend.

Me

Good Fences Make Good Neighbors

This is an image from a barbed wire display at the Old West Wax Museum in Thermopolis, WY. Aside from the wax figures they had rows and rows of different kind of wire. They had in one corner a sign about how the wire kills lots of animals every year. It disgusted me. But the hundreds of patterns that existed were fascinating. And the fact that all of this was from one person's collection was baffling. Who knew?

Slowly Choking

The wildfires surrounding where I live blows smoke into town. It's been going on for the past few weeks now off and on. It's breathable air but yet we all feel kinda sick. Least I do. It smells like a campfire that never goes away. My head has been pounding for the past few days. We're crabby and hot and can't do anything about it.

It's a metaphor for my life. There's always some "fire" burning somewhere sucking my life away.

Don't you wish you were this innocent?

Happy Olympics

I think I should be an olympic gold medalist--- I jump through the most hoops of anyone I know.

Coldplay sums it up

I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own
I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemies eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing:
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"
One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt, and pillars of sand
I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can not explain
Once you know there was never,
never an honest word
That was when I ruled the world
It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in.
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People could not believe what I'd become
Revolutionaries Wait
For my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string
Oh who would ever want to be king?
I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can not explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
And that was when I ruled the world
Hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can not explain
I know Saint Peter will call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world

Oh...We're half way there... oh...Livin on a Prayer

So much doom and gloom lately. And I just don't know what to do with myself. You either ignore all the bad things going on or you dwell on them. You can't even see past it whatever you do. How can you be proactive when you don't know what you've been hit with?

A friend of mine lost her job today.

They announced layoffs at my workplace. Donno if I'll be on the chopping block.

I've been through this stuff before but for some reason it always seemed like it was someone else. Not me. But it is my problem now. I'm the adult. My parents went through layoffs and very tough times, but I was never worried. Not like I am now. Not when so much depends on me. Now it's my friend- not my mom's friend- that is being hit with hard times. It's my work- not my Dad's work- that had to downsize because they can't afford staff. It's my bills that have to be paid- not my in-laws. They've all gone through it. Granted they've gone through it when they were a bit older then me, but hey. I guess being a smart kid advanced me to adulthood problems really quick in life. Times aren't what they used to be. You can't be secure in anything you do.

As my friend said on her blog- I'm not dying of cancer or am paralyzed, but dammit I want a break!

wild mustang funny

Hot Tamale Train BS

On So You Think You Can Dance the one judge says when someone dances really well that they're taking a ride on the hot tamale train. Wonder what that's like. Probably hot and slippery.

Give Peace a Chance

I just read that John Lennon's "Peace" lyrics were just sold for over 800,000 bucks. Wonder what John would think of that. He'd probably laugh. Or be pissed it didn't sell for more. Or would be mad that that money didn't go towards "Giving peace a chance." The world may never know.

Shallow and Deep Thoughts...

Wonder why my guinea pig can sit in his own excrement while my cat has to clean herself the instant someone is done petting her.

Sometimes I think to myself. Sometimes I think out loud. Period.

I wonder if I'm brainwashed. If not, can someone pass the soap?

The plural of moose is moose. The plural of deer is deer. The plural of fish is fish. The plural of antelope is antelope. The plural of elk is elk.

Psycho Path. That's the name of the street I'd like to live on someday.

So. Yeah.

Why is it...

Why is it that anytime you get a hold of extra money your vehicle knows and takes it away from you?


Tawk amongst yourselves.... I'm overclempt.

A Typical day at the office

Breathe.
Take a sip of your Fresca.
Stack those papers. Can't let them be unkempt.
OCD maybe?
Check the time.
Do you have voicemail?
E-mail?
Did you remember to do that?
Do that.
Write it down.
Don't forget.
Shit. You forgot.
Breathe.
look at to do list.
Eat a cracker.
Feel guilty for eating a cracker because you're stressed.
Not because you're hungry.
Stomach Growls.
Phone rings.
Please sign this.
Turn this into accounting.
Take a sip of your Fresca.
Make copies of this.
How many copies?
Schedule.
Open the document.
Fuck up.
Breathe.
Is my fly down?
Button undone?
Anything in my teeth?
No.
Turn on the fan. It's hot in here.
Are you having a hot flash?
No. You're in your 20s.
Make another to do list. Revised.
Slouch in your chair.
Look at your messy desk.
Breathe.
Take a sip of Fresca.

"The story you are about to hear is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent."

A real conversation

Dan: So did you hear about the interesting phone call that Caroline had?

Chubby: No, what was that?

Dan: She got a call from a Chinese vendor looking to sell food at the Powwow. Guess they didn't know that only people from tribes can sell food or anything for that matter at the Powwow.

Chubby: Guess it's not a Kung Pao Wow, then.

Dan: (blank stare)

Chubby: (giggle)

Dan: ok I'm leaving now. (walks away)

Believe it or not it's just me

Hello world,
It's just me. I'm sorry I've been so out of touch lately. See I've been on another planet and forgot to call or write and there've been lots of things keeping me from visiting occasionally. How's life? I've been keeping pretty busy myself. Alternate realities are interesting, but I think that I'd like to get away for a while and come back to the real world. Unfortunately I can't quite seem to get back there. I don't have ruby slippers to click together, you see. I've got to find a hot air balloon or something to help me get back. It'll be a long road (or big sky, depending on my mode of transportation) but I'll be back someday. Then I'll have to see all the sights that I've missed.

Can't Quite Put My Finger On It, but...

There's something creepy about this picture, isn't there? Is it the fact that you see babies in 4d? Is that like some kind of weird child abuse to display your unborn child's face on a billboard? Or is it the cowboy holding a newborn while riding a horse? You'll know you're out west when you have a billboard trying to incorporate something "western" that makes no sense.

A little laugh

My husband overheard a family talking the other day. The Mom and Dad were taking their lids to Yellowstone National Park and were preparing them for what they'd see. The mom said, "It will be so fun! We might see some buffalo, and bears, and some elk...." Then their young son exclaimed, "And Iron Man!"

The mom responded quite calmly and sweetly, not skipping a beat, "No, I don't think we'll be seeing Iron Man in Yellowstone National Park, but you never know."

Then it dawns on you...

I walked over to the local grocery store today with a mission. Red peppers were on sale. I wanted red peppers and nothing was going to stand in my way. I walk into the store and there they were in all their glory. I reach for the bag, ready to choose the best ones and it dawns on me. I'm grocery shopping. Me. And I'm looking at produce. Me. I'm a wife. Me. I'm looking in advertisements for items on sale. ME! Whatever happened to the girl who hated grocery shopping with a passion, could care less about cooking, and never cared about saving a few pennies? She's long gone. She was replaced by something called an adult human who cooks dinner at night, goes to the store when she needs milk or eggs, or- gasp- red peppers, and is, dare I say it, responsible?

So this is what adulthood looks like.

Unstuck situation

I worry too much.

My friend that I mentioned in Sticky Situation postings has been hired. She'll be moving here in June. I fretted a whole lot about her interview and all the stupid perceptions of her befoe she even came here, but it was pretty much just me reading too much into things. I can't turn my mind off sometimes.

I'm happy for my friend.

I hope I can help her adjust to life in Wyoming. Her future supervisor called her a "city girl" in conversation with me. I looked back at her and thought- well what do you think of me? I'm a "city girl" too. Maybe I don't give off that strong of a vibe. But I didn't say anything. You can take the girl out of the city, but you can't take the city out of the girl! I still love going to malls- it's just now it's considered a treat because we have to drive a few hours to get to one. You save lots of money that way, unless you go crazy with catalogues (which I am guilty of on occasion).

I like peanut butter crackers.

I had them for breakfast, but that's not the point. I feel like I've got lots coming my way this year: friends having babies, getting married, visiting relatives, taking vacations of my own ( who'd a thunk it!), helping a friend adjust to small town Wyoming life, busy work related stuff, talking at symposiums and national parks, family health problems, and the list goes on.

I need to figure out how to do deal with all this stuff! (without worrying too much!)

All in Vein

The crook of my elbow is bruised from a blood test I had last week. It's green and ugly right now. Good thing it's not warm enough to wear short sleeves yet because I'd probably gross out passersby. An annual blood draw is offered at work, so I got to work at 7:15 the other day to get blood sucked out of my arm, hoping that I'd be early and would miss the rush. I was wrong.

I don't like seeing things sticking into me, therefore I turn my head whenever I get a needle poked into by body. I've done that since I had mono in second grade and had to get blood tests fairly often. I just don't look, plain and simple. I thought that I turned my head rather casually for the blood draw, but unfortunately for me someone noticed. That someone was the wrong person to notice such as thing. A person I do not get along with very well at the workplace (I'm understating this) Of course she had to draw everyone's attention to me!

I'm over it now. Can't you tell?

Update: Sticky Situation

Ok so one of the applicants was a dick and dropped out, leaving us with the unrefundable flight reservation. So he gets off with a free airline ticket and we get nothing.

That leaves my friend left to come for the interview. I haven't told this friend about the other person dropping out, so they don't think they're a shoe-in. She should perform as she would if against lots of people. Besides, if others don't like her they won't hire her.

Sticky Situation

I recommended a friend of mine for a job that in the beginning I had little to no input on hiring, but after hearing that my boss who would have the most sway of authority (thumbs up or thumbs down) won't be there for her interview, I have to step in her place and have to look at hiring for the position in an unbiased way. The supervisor of the position, who is at the same level as my boss, doesn't like the idea that I know one of the candidates in the first place and I think, in turn, discredits her for the job before meeting her. I think she is biased already toward the other candidate based on that fact and also because the other candidate is a boy (that can do labor- a large part of the job). So I've tried to play down my friendship with this person to counteract the bad feelings stirring and have actually tried to explain to said friend/candidate what the situation is without giving too much away that could jeapardize her as a candidate. I'm trying to be professional throughout the whole thing, but now that I'm stepping into a bigger pair of shoes, actually being a part of the decision (be it not all, but enough), I'm feeling a bit awkward. I could push my friend's application for the job but it could be interpreted as me doing a favor for someone, or I could go for the other guy (if he is better, of course) and somewhat betray a friend without her knowing it. It wouldn't be that big of a deal if the said supervisor wouldn't have made such a swift judgement because I would feel that I wouldn't have to try to tip the scale back a bit to help balance the preconcieved notions. I can't "beef" up my friend anymore than I did a month ago but I can't ignore the other candidate either.
Next week the two interviews are scheduled. Wish me luck.

Your hidden talents

This week's pet peeve: forced fun

We are having a talent show/ display of sorts at work this week. We can bring in our crafts, art, writing, perform a song, read a poem, whatever we want as a way to wrap up the winter season. Corny to say the least.

I decided to make something origami. I figured people wouldn't have a clue that I fold paper in my spare time. And sometimes not in my spare time- I do it to keep my hands busy. Some people doodle- I make paper stars and balls n' such.

I made a lily plant out of paper and put it in a vase. If I take a picture I'll post it for posterity.

So to get to my point, who gives a flying hippopotamus about what Joe S. Blueberry does when he's not at work? Who cares that I fold paper? We have to come together and pat each other on the back and say, good job Mary Strawberry, you made some great antler art. And you, Freddie Banana, great painting. Awesome. Betty Pineapple- love the quilt.

Plastic smiles. Fake pats on the back. Oh and refreshments- did I mention those? Yeah- we get to have cookies and punch while our fake smiles hurt our faces.

I'm not complaining, but merely predicting what will happen. My department is busy up to our eyeballs with projects and we have to take a break to participate in the festivities. Sometimes it's nice to break away, but when you chit chat with people for a while and in the back of your mind you're thinking of all the work you have to get done before 5:00 you are not really enjoying yourself--- you're ultimately adding more stress to your already stressful day.

But alas, it's fun for my own good, right? Moral booster- get to know your colleagues.

Yippee.

Happy Easter

May the Easter Bunny be very kind to you this year. And don't eat the black jelly beans. We all know what they REALLY are.

Exoskeleton

Ever wonder how an insect feels when it sheds its exoskeleton? Is the bug saying to himself, "Ah yeah. That feels so good. I love getting rid of this ol' thing" Or is he feeling pretty naked and paranoid about it, like " Oh God! I'm so vulnerable. And cold too! What if I get in a fight?" Or maybe a little of both?

People can be like that in a sense too. We try new things and try to develop our own outer self. We stay warm in our own little worlds for a while but sooner or later you have to shed that exoskeleton. You have no idea what's going to happen. You take a risk.

Say you work on a huge project for your job. You're feeling pretty good about it and confidently show it to your boss, expecting small changes. Instead of getting the praise you thought you'd get, you're told that wasn't what they wanted. You've made yourself vulnerable in the first place and now you've been given a hard blow. You shedded your exoskeleton, your armor, and now you're naked and cold and hurting.

When people knock me down I usually take it well in front of the "knocker" but away from that person I'm a mess. I get depressed. I vent. I may cry. I get angry. I think of responses to say to that person later on, when the oppurtunity is gone and kick myself for not being more witty at the crutial moment. I blame myself for things out of my control. (All this is not necessarily the most healthy of behavior, but it is my way of coping.) Then the next day things don't seem as bad. The exoskeleton seems a little stronger, slowly building itself up for next time.

On the other hand, hearing good news, like learning that you get a "decent" (operative term) raise makes you feel like the blows you've been given were a wee bit worth it. And others know that you can handle the blows, at least on the apparent surface so they know that you can be trusted and are a hard worker- and not a whiner. You have to put a positive spin on it somehow, right? You don't want to be knocked down too many times, that's for certain, but you also want to learn from the blows and make yourself better for next time.

Wind

There's lots of it in Wyoming
You need it to breathe
But if it's too strong you can't breathe
People complain about too much of it
Or too little on a hot day
Most feel embarrassed when they break it
but yet they also feel liberated
It makes lots of noise
but yet it is very quiet
Can move things by force
And will make things float and spin in the air
then drop
and pulverize
Helps birds and airplanes
Hinders birds and airplanes
It's thinner the higher you go
It's heavier the lower you go
There's none in space
You can see it on a cold day
You feel it and it can soothe
Or you feel it and it burns
It's necessary

Melancholy Sunday

I wish I could be in Gettysburg hanging with some old friends, but I'm a bit of a ways away in physical distance and mental capacity. Thanks for the memories of the scary Bates motel and cigars and "Ay-Blinkin" and Jenny Wade bakin' bread (so they say).

Off the deep end

I'm sorry that I snapped. I needed to vent and you were the easy target.

All the Young Dudes

by Mott the Hoople

Well Billy rapped all night about his suicide
How he kick it in the head
when he was twenty-five Speed jive
don't want to stay aliveWhen you're twenty-five
And Wendy's stealing clothes from Marks and Sparks
And Freddy's got spots from ripping off the stars from his face
Funky little boat race
Television man is crazy saying we're juvenile deliquent wrecks
Oh man I need TV when I got T Rex
Oh brother you guessed
I'm a dude dad
All the young dudes (Hey dudes)
Carry the news (Where are ya)
Boogaloo dudes (Stand up Come on)
Carry the news
All the young dudes (I want to hear you)
Carry the news (I want to see you)
Boogaloo dudes (And I want to talk to you all of you)
Carry the news
Now Lucy looks sweet cause he dresses like a queen
But he can kick like a mule it's a real mean team
But we can love oh yes we can love
And my brother's back at home with his Beatles and his Stones
We never got it off on that revolution stuff
What a drag too many snags
Now I've drunk a lot of wine and I'm feeling fine
Got to race some cat to bed
Oh is there concrete all around
Or is it in my head
YeahI'm a dude dad
All the young dudes (Hey dudes)
Carry the news (Where are ya)
Boogaloo dudes (Stand up)
Carry the news
All the young dudes (I want to hear ya)
Carry the news (I want to see you)
Boogaloo dudes (And I want to relate to you)
Carry the news
All the young dudes (What dudes)
Carry the news (Let's hear the news come on)
Boogaloo dudes (I want to kick you)
Carry the news
All the young dudes (Hey you there with the glasses)
Carry the news (I want you)
Boogaloo dudes (I want you at the front)
Carry the news (Now you all his friends)
All the young dudes (Now you bring him down cause I want him)
Carry the news Boogaloo dudes (I want him right here bring him come on)
Carry the news (Bring him here you go)
All the young dudes (I've wanted to do this for years)
Carry the news (There you go)
Boogaloo dudes (How do you feel)
Carry the news


Oh yeah- go see the movie Juno if you haven't already. And Across the Universe.

Who's that old lady in the mirror

February is the birthday month of lots of my friends and myself. We're all about the same age so its sort of comforting that a few days after I feel old another friend is feeling the same way, or another already went through it a few weeks before.
I feel like I'm not getting older in the sense that I see my little sister or 8 year old cousin getting older. I feel like I'm the same, they're the one's who are growing up. But I know that's not the reality. I'm the old lady compared to them. I'm getting older just as they are, they're just a few years behind being in my shoes.

Mood-y Blues and Greens

Mood today: calm, earthy, humble

I wish I could run outside barefoot and feel grass on my feet and see shady trees and the bright sun all around me. Instead, I go to work in a dungeon with no windows and when I do get to go outside its so windy and cold it's heard to breathe in the fresh air I so crave. So much for living in a vast wilderness. Winter can be a total beeeotch.

The world is your oyster but what if you've never had an oyster, seen one, or heard of one? That reference is probably lost on many people. You could fit anything in place of "oyster." You could say, the world is my eggplant and it somehow would fit. The world is my jellyfish- it's squishy and hurts like hell when you get stung. The world is my ceiling fan- it goes round and round and round cooling things down when they're hot. The world is my coffee mug- it holds the liquid of life. Well, you get my point.

The wide eyes of fortune shall carry me onward....

Boomerang toomerang zoomerang

Deep Thoughts

Happy 2008. I survived another year. My Mom's visit wasn't too bad. We did simple things like make a turkey dinner and watch movies. A few times I was criticized for not buying a house and not going to get my PhD, but that was to be expected. So, in other words, I lived to tell another tale.

I'm reading a book called Lakota Woman by Mary Crow Dog. I friend of mine at work is taking a Native American class and suggested it. Whoa- big dose of reality for me. It's written as a first person perspective of a Native American woman's life. A disturbing but fascinating read.

My good ol' friend from PA who lived in China and Korea is now back in North America. That girl is like a nomad. I have no idea where she'll land next. I'm going to surprise her. More about that to come in future postings.

I got a new cell phone for Christmas that is total crap. I went to the wireless store today and their way of helping me was to call the customer service line. So I pretty much got to use their phone. They are going to send me a new battery. Yippee. I also bought a case for this wonderful phone--- pretty much so when I throw it out of frustration it won't be destroyed.

Speaking of phones, I never realized until recently how difficult it is to arrange to talk to someone just to chat. When I was younger, I would call up a friend and it would be easy. Now, I have to arrange for a phone call- to make time. It's weird, but it's reality I guess. The two hour time difference between PA and OH to WY is a bitch to start off, then people are busy, then time gets away from you. Oh well. There's always email and voicemail, right?

Sport-o is back in school for another semester. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this won't be too bad. Night classes and not too much traveling should help. We shall see.

One of my friends got herself a hobby. She's now painting like Bob Ross, using his paints n' everything. That's nice n'all, but I sort of want to gag about it. She wants all this praise for it like it's the greatest thing. But I'm glad she's doing something with herself.

I'm going to take a yoga class at work.

It's cold outside.

"To Be With You" by Extreme is stuck in my head. Make it stop. Please, make it stop.