Moving Right Along

War is over if you want it.

Such words. Such words. Can mean so many things. Right now I'm applying it to myself and the war I'm waging with this move. It's all in my head-- all this melancholy and bittersweet feelings. I need them to go away, come again another day.

Never let yourself settle and then move shortly after.

Orange ya glad I didn't say banana?

Wouldn't it be interesting if we always started jokes with the punchline? No, not really.

Still trying to be excited and optomistic, but boy is it easy to get pulled down. I woke up early this morning and couldn't get back to sleep. I laid there, while my mind churned, and I began to feel more and more miserable. It felt like the world was turning against me. The overanalysis I made of my conversations from the day before, all my emotions, everything--ran through my head at ludicris speed and just felt awful. I couldn't stop it. The feeling is not really something you can describe. Ultimately, when I finally decided to roll out of bed, it seemed to fall away, though I still feel it like a constant companion. I will name this empty companion Marvin.

Welcome Marvin. Thanks for tagging along on all my adventures.

Leaving

Sometimes it's time to let go
get out of the comfort quilt
push yourself
encourage yourself
plead with yourself
That it will be ok

Change is what life is
from diapers
to linens
to places to live
to friends
pushing myself
encouraging myself
pleading with myself
That it will be ok

The voice inside
gets louder
gets softer
loud again
changes tones
in different stages
but I continue

I tell my partner
get moving
get going
time is running out
and I push
and I encourage
and I plead
but I pray it will be ok.

Streaming radio

It's been a very long time since I've listened to internet radio. I tuned in to the Christmas Pop station on jango just for shiggles. It's more like the Michael Buble and repeats station. Ugh. Not the best way to get me in a Christmas mood! (I don't have anything against Michael Buble, but it's just too much.)

And what's up with the She and Him album? I like the actors, but they, in my very humble opinion, aren't the best singers. Though I did discover Straight No Chaser group's version of Twelve Days of Christmas. Loved it! They do a take on Toto's Africa and it really hits the mark. Of course, Toto's song is one of Sport-o and my "songs" so it holds a place close to my heart, but dispite that bias, I still enjoyed it.

There's my brief musical interlude entry for the day.

Lost It

I'm back Bloggers! It's been too long.

I've been working, working, working, and I've lost my sense of creativity and inspiration. It's terrible. There are days where I work and then I'm a slug when I get home. I know you know the feeling. My back is probably stuck in a slouch permanently from sitting at my crappy desk at work. Yoga stretches help- a little. I think if I went back to my yoga class the instructor would be disgusted by me!

Send me creative thoughts- just like Tinkerbell with clapping. I need it!

So lots of things have happened since I've last blogged. I'll be moving to the Southwest next month to take on a new job. One that I truly, truly hope will be better for my personal outlook on life. It's in a city--- much different than the one horse town I live in now. I'm looking forward to being anonymous again. I'm looking forward to going to malls whenever I want and not worrying about driving 100 miles to get there. If I want to go to Target-- I can go to Target! It's the little things in life that make the world a better place. And one of those little things is THE OPTION TO SHOP WHEREVER I WANT AND IT IS NOT WALMART! BWHA HA HA HA! (that was an evil laugh)

I'm also thinking to turn over a new leaf in my new habitat. I should sign up for classes-- maybe yoga again, or some kind of martial arts! Yeah, that'd be awesome to be able to kick ass like Chuck Norris.

But I feel like we are giving up so much in this move. I have this heavy heart that I just can't seem to ignore. Sport-o is leaving his job and is having a hard time. To me, it's time for both of us to let go, but Sport-o feels like he is leaving one of the things that makes him who he is. And that makes me really sad. We're also leaving a home that we've grown to love. I keep reminding myself it's just a place. It's just walls, but it's still hard. I feel like the villagers from Fiddler on the Roof. I'll be singing Anatevka on moving day, probably with tears in my eyes. But I'm not being forced out, I'm leaving on my own.

It's funny because there were many times that I decided that I did not like the town I lived, but when you stay there for 6 1/2 years, you do develop a certain fondness for the place. And when thinking about leaving the sights, sounds, and people, it's bittersweet.

Enough of this melancholy! It's time to get excited!