Exoskeleton

Ever wonder how an insect feels when it sheds its exoskeleton? Is the bug saying to himself, "Ah yeah. That feels so good. I love getting rid of this ol' thing" Or is he feeling pretty naked and paranoid about it, like " Oh God! I'm so vulnerable. And cold too! What if I get in a fight?" Or maybe a little of both?

People can be like that in a sense too. We try new things and try to develop our own outer self. We stay warm in our own little worlds for a while but sooner or later you have to shed that exoskeleton. You have no idea what's going to happen. You take a risk.

Say you work on a huge project for your job. You're feeling pretty good about it and confidently show it to your boss, expecting small changes. Instead of getting the praise you thought you'd get, you're told that wasn't what they wanted. You've made yourself vulnerable in the first place and now you've been given a hard blow. You shedded your exoskeleton, your armor, and now you're naked and cold and hurting.

When people knock me down I usually take it well in front of the "knocker" but away from that person I'm a mess. I get depressed. I vent. I may cry. I get angry. I think of responses to say to that person later on, when the oppurtunity is gone and kick myself for not being more witty at the crutial moment. I blame myself for things out of my control. (All this is not necessarily the most healthy of behavior, but it is my way of coping.) Then the next day things don't seem as bad. The exoskeleton seems a little stronger, slowly building itself up for next time.

On the other hand, hearing good news, like learning that you get a "decent" (operative term) raise makes you feel like the blows you've been given were a wee bit worth it. And others know that you can handle the blows, at least on the apparent surface so they know that you can be trusted and are a hard worker- and not a whiner. You have to put a positive spin on it somehow, right? You don't want to be knocked down too many times, that's for certain, but you also want to learn from the blows and make yourself better for next time.