What did the bun say to the empty hot dog?
Happy Hollow-weenie!
Anyone ever watch Perfect Strangers?
Instead of saying the relaxing mantra "I am a hollow reed. Problems run through me like the wind. Balki said "I am a halloween..."
Friday, October 31, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Burnt shoes and cell calls and lumbar 'ectomies
I'm burnt out. I don't want to talk to anyone on the phone anymore. I'm tired. I don't want to fake enthusiasm. I need a break. Is that so bad? Yes. It is. Because I can't. I have people calling and when I don't enthusiastically say how wonderful my life is they think I'm sick and should go in the hospital. I'm not kidding. Or if I don't call for a while others think I'm mad at them. Guess what- the phone works two ways. And maybe I feel bad that I wasn't there for your 21st birthday, or bachelorette, or shower, or baby's birth. Ever think of that? Maybe I don't want to talk about it because the next time I hear, "You should have been there" or "We wish you were here" I will scream?! It was my choice to move away and have my own life. And I like the choice I made. Don't rub it in my face.
But aside from all that I'm going back to my mid-atlantic home for a visit in a few weeks. I'm going to be in my friend/ cousin-in-law's wedding (yes I know cousin- in -law isn't a real relation). I get to wear a conjac - burnt- poopy -orange dress that I think looks bad on me. Sort of suitable to match my mental capacity lately though: burnt and poopy.
I was told by said bride to go buy dyed shoes to match the dress. Well I went to the bridal store and there was no way I was going to spend THAT MUCH on shoes I'll wear once and be in total pain in. So I didn't buy them. And I lied to the bride and said I did. That makes me a bad bridesmaid, but she should be glad I'm flying 2000 miles to be there! So I'm going to hide my shoes- the dress is long anyway. I got cream pumps that are awesome to wear instead- and they were 10 bucks. Besides the guests should be looking at the bride, not my shoes, right? So if she notices I'll fess up or else say I forgot them or something, but I think the bride will have other things to worry about. The funny thing is that she was in my wedding and I never told anyone to get matched dyed shoes. No one remembers that, though.
SO this trip is going to be a doosey. Not only am I going to do the wedding stuff, it's also the same week as my Gram's 85th birthday and my family is throwing a party for her. And then, two days later, my mother is going to have major back surgery. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I'll be there for when she's in the surgery, but it's all feeling overwhelming. I'm only there a week- even less if you factor in 2 travel days.
Did I mention I needed a break? Too bad I'm using up all my vacation days for this trip. I'll need a vacation from my vacation. And from work too.
But aside from all that I'm going back to my mid-atlantic home for a visit in a few weeks. I'm going to be in my friend/ cousin-in-law's wedding (yes I know cousin- in -law isn't a real relation). I get to wear a conjac - burnt- poopy -orange dress that I think looks bad on me. Sort of suitable to match my mental capacity lately though: burnt and poopy.
I was told by said bride to go buy dyed shoes to match the dress. Well I went to the bridal store and there was no way I was going to spend THAT MUCH on shoes I'll wear once and be in total pain in. So I didn't buy them. And I lied to the bride and said I did. That makes me a bad bridesmaid, but she should be glad I'm flying 2000 miles to be there! So I'm going to hide my shoes- the dress is long anyway. I got cream pumps that are awesome to wear instead- and they were 10 bucks. Besides the guests should be looking at the bride, not my shoes, right? So if she notices I'll fess up or else say I forgot them or something, but I think the bride will have other things to worry about. The funny thing is that she was in my wedding and I never told anyone to get matched dyed shoes. No one remembers that, though.
SO this trip is going to be a doosey. Not only am I going to do the wedding stuff, it's also the same week as my Gram's 85th birthday and my family is throwing a party for her. And then, two days later, my mother is going to have major back surgery. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I'll be there for when she's in the surgery, but it's all feeling overwhelming. I'm only there a week- even less if you factor in 2 travel days.
Did I mention I needed a break? Too bad I'm using up all my vacation days for this trip. I'll need a vacation from my vacation. And from work too.
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