Surrender

There's a Cheap Trick song called Surrender that has the lyric

"Surrender but don't give yourself away."

So deep, man. So deep.


Yesterday I found myself in a very strange situation. A rather demeaning one too. I was in a meeting at work with my boss when this dude- who I have no idea who he is but obviously some big shot- barges in and kicks me out of it to talk to my boss. Bastard. I found out later that all he wanted to do is talk crap to my boss about another co-worker of ours and he just didn't want me to hear it. At first when he said for me to leave I thought it was a joke. Nope. So I left everything there I brought and walked back to my office with my tail between my legs and not knowing why I was being punished. It was so rude. I just sat in my chair for a few seconds trying to figure out what just happened. As it set in the angrier I got. If I was more witty I should've came up with something good to say. Or at least said screw you, I don't care who you are. But I didn't. Never do. What if I did though? The next time someone treats me like shit I call them on it.... what would happen?

But I could never "surrender" myself to do that. I have too much integrity (for lack of a better word) in me to treat someone like that. I'd feel bad instead of relieved.

Wouldn't "surrendering" and letting myself be the bitch I want to be "give myself away"? So how do you give up but don't give a piece of yourself? Do You let them win? --Say "go ahead, treat me like crap." Or are you losing because you surrendered to those impulses? ---Say "you jerk, you could be nice, I'd be happy to leave if you ask properly." Or do you win because you didn't win or lose? (Insert punished puppy whine here) But you didn't create more problems. I'm going in circles.

Cheap Trick philosophy is way beyond their time.

As Wayne and Garth would say: "We're not worthy! We're not worthy!"


Party on